I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
