we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My Higher Power is John Stamos
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
