On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
