What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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