this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
