ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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