the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
