You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
