I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
