I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
