Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
