i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
