I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
