Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
