Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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