I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
