i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
