just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
