You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
