im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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