i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think I won the penis lottery.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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