that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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