Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
