Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
