So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
did i just pee glitter
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
