What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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