eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
