Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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