I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
