I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
