community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
