The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
