you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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