Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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