Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
