You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
