She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
