i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Randomize
