Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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