Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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