The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
do nipples grow back?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
