apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
