PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
