I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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