Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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