yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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