Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
