I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
His nipple licking is glorious
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