I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
