I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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