can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
