great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
