i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
