evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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