I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
